Moms with kids that "meltdown"

[joy at home]

How do you handle it? How do you keep it together?

I can't do this today!

Do you have days where you manage it better than others?

[sfh2sons]

I'm not sure how old your child is that is having the meltdowns, but it will get better. My ds is now 8 and he used to meltdown about everything. It was terrible. Even people at church, friends, and the community would notice how many meltdowns he would have. I'm curious though. Is your child getting enough sleep? Are they hungry? I noticed my ds even at 8 has some meltdowns when he's too tired or hungry (even if he just ate a few hours ago). He doesn't say that is the problem, but when you feed him something his whole attitude seems to change. Plus, I notice if he isn't getting to bed early enough he is cranky cranky cranky. Is your child waking through the night a lot? I know mine was for a long time. He happened to need his tonsils out (when he was 4) and once those were out his whole life began to change. He was sleeping through the night and there were a lot less meltdowns. All I can say is I've been there. It will get better. As for how to cope. Some days will be better than others. There were times I just yelled and times I just cried and times I locked myself in the bathroom for a few minutes. God bless you and I'll be praying for you.

[love3c]

We are currently battling meltdowns. Yes, some days are better than others. Some moments are better than others. I notice ds does them more when daddy's been gone for a while and them comes home. DS seems to resent that very much. I'm hopeful they are going to get better, but I have spent many a moment in my closet crying!

[joy at home]

I know it's because he hadn't eaten yet - but he didn't want breakfast yet :gaah: He's all happy smiles since he had two bowls of mini wheats - like nothing even happened!

And he is probably tired, although he went to bed at 8:30 and got up just before 7. He really does sleep quite soundly. He had shots yesterday, so figure that in too :thud: And the underlying stress about starting Kindergarden on Wednesday...

And I haven't gotten enough sleep the last two nights...

can I just :tantrum: myself? :cry:

I am very seriously considering making some calls today to find a couselor to talk with to get us some help with this. What should I look for - child, family, emotional coach...other suggestions?

I'm alittle ways into Greene's book "The Explosive Child" and some of it really fits!

Thank you for listening.

[DevNAbbyMom]

We have a behavioral counselor for my DS. It is for us as much as for him. It helps us to understand the behaviors and how to find ways to work with them. We had a whole month where baths were like putting him in hot lava. As quick as he starting melting down near the tub, it was over. Who knows what happened.

We have good and bad days. Some days I handle it well. Other's I lose it easier and have to give myself a time out before I scream my face off. I think it depends on our external stresses too on which days bother us more.

One thing we started doing (per the behavioral counselors advice) is to give him chill out times. It's not a punishment but more of a "I know you are having a hard time dealing right now so we have to remove you from the situation until you can calm down" type of thing. When DS starts a meltdown, we just tell him that he needs to be in his room until he can calm down. Now we just say CHILL TIME and put him in there and he stays there until he calms down and then all is fine. It helps the frustration to end faster.

At first he fought us and got angrier but soon he realized it was nice to be alone and away from the situation for a few minutes and could compose himself. He is only going on 3 and is dealing much better then before. It takes about a month to really get it in their head that this is for them to get calm.

Not to compare our kids to animals (that is not my intention) but you know how some dogs love their dog cage during times when kids are running around or there is a lot of commotion? It's kind of like that. They can learn to self sooth and put themselves in a place that they can cope for a few minutes to get away from the frustration that is causing the meltdown. It's a great self soothing method as they get older.

I don't know if this helped but I thought I would put it out there since it has done wonders in our house now. My DS's meltdowns only last less then a minute now instead of the 5 to 10 minutes they used to last.

[kcsmom76]

How do you handle it? I don't know. How do you keep it together? Pray and talk to you guys.

I can't do this today!

Do you have days where you manage it better than others? Yes!!!.

[faithwoman]

Meltdowns happen at every single age, it seems. Our 23 year old special needs daughter is having them now as she struggles to overcome depression. It feels like our home has been turned into a battleground.

The doctor is trying to adjust medication so she can function, but in the meantime, a vacation in Tahiti is sounding awfully good right now! :)

When she has her meltdowns, staying calm is the ONLY thing that keeps me sane. Things get substantially worse if I raise my voice. God continues to test me and so far, I'm at about 50%. Isn't it weird how God is the only teacher that lets you keep taking the test until you pass? :)

Of course, then there's those occasional pop quizzes just to see how you're doing.

As the old saying goes.....this too shall pass.

[legmama]

Are your children melting down due to a special needs dx? I think that is different than just developmental frustrations that lead to meltdowns. First, make sure they are not hungry, they are not tired....

Then, when a meltdown occurrs because of whatever (wanted choc. milk instead of skim, cant get barbie's clothes on it is too hard for little fingers) I have a comfy place for them to go to chill out. A place that has favorite comfy pillows, blankets, stuffed animals, and books (might have to start with soft books). I start by holding them in the place until they understand that this is where they go to feel better.

It works.

[babydolls]

Ds #2 has meltdowns.

Some days are really hard, and I feel like: :tantrum:
Other days, I feel like "Super woman". :lol:

Some things that have helped us...

1. Remove food colouring. (Particularly red dye.)
2. Hugs
3. Regular quiet time

For me: I'll sometimes call dh or a friend, and just talk on the phone. Having that person "there" with me keeps me accountable, and much calmer.

[joy at home]

sometimes it helps to just vent! And how much better to come and type here than to raise my voice at my ds! I do have days where I am in control and can handle the meltdowns much better.

Ds is 5 1/2 and has been screened / evaulated by the early childhood education people...and was found to be "typical". I had wondered about Aspergers or PDD, or what is that one? sensory input disfunction. He scored high on the sensitivities and emotional reactivity, but they thought he'd adjust just fine. I'm still jotting down notes and I have a "we'll see" attitude about how he will adjust to school.

It seems that he does well in most situations (preschool, Sunday school), except at home! Our pediatrician listened to my concerns and thought it was temperament/presonality issues. We also met with a child psychologist (who we know from our church) and after reading my list of concerns, he told us we didn't have "the full meal deal" - I guess to say that it was not classic AS or whatever.

I did call the day of my op, of course I got an answering machine! and I requested a county-wide list of counselors in private practice. It's been at least 16 months (since the meltdowns became of great concern) and we have good days and not so good, but he has not "grown out of it". I think we could really use some coaching on how to handle these things at home. It is causing stress in our parenting /marriage. I've also noticed lately that is is affecting how I parent and react to our 16 m/o dd.

[Cadam]

Evals done within the school system are to see how they would function in a classroom. Just because he will probably be able to minimally function in a school doesn't mean he is fine.

The disorder you are looking for is called "Sensory Processing Disorder" or "Sensory Integration Dysfunction" Also look into something called "Non-verbal learning disability" It isn't what it sounds like, I am just researching it now. I also have a child with ASD like behaviors. Get the book "The out-of-sync child". You may find your son in those pages. If you do he needs occupational therapy. We are just starting down this road but we are hopeful.