Conference today.. I think I just needs hugs

[MaeinTX]

Dh is away.. story of our lives.

It actually was not bad, told how he was very intelligent, how even when he seems lost in his own world that he can repeat verbatum what was said, but basically the attitude for the upcoming years was he will not be successful without an aide. :cry: :cry: I tried to get them to concentrate on the here and now, and gave her some positive suggestions for things to be utilized first but it's frustrating when I'm the one that has to give them the ideas. I know, I know, I know my child best and am so thankful God gave me those words tonight. It's just hard, ya know.

[thebeckery]

Love for you, G...

I am so sorry that you are hurting and that dh is away...prayers and :bighug:

[Kim2005]

:bighug:

[4littlelambs]

Well then... here you go!!

:bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:

And as far as needing to tell THEM... OH I SO KNOW!!!

So he doesn't have an aide now... and you don't really want one? Is that what I'm hearing? Could he SHARE one? And just to give you some encouragement... there was a little boy in my Jared's class last year (3rd grade) that has Aspergers and needed an aide. Jared used to come home and talk about this woman but I didn't know who she was. I even saw her in the classroom on MANY occasions and still didn't know who she was. I asked Jared if she worked with someone directly... he said no... she worked with all of them! That aide was FANTASTIC!!! She DID work with all of the children, didn't hover over that child, nobody KNEW she was his aide!! So there ARE wonderful wonderful situations that could help him Glenda... I hope that encouraged you a little.

I love you!

[MaeinTX]

So he doesn't have an aide now... and you don't really want one? Is that what I'm hearing?



No- he does not have an aide now. He is in a co-teach class and like you described, the kids do not know whey they have a full time TA as well as the 2nd teacher part of the time. They spread themselves around. But, what I was hearing...and I am sure it could be I was having selective hearing because you know how those defensive walls start to build before you even realize they've gone up, is that having any aide would make it easier for them- not our child. What I wasn't hearing was that this modification was being done and this was the result we are seeing and this is why it needs to be changed. So, I backed them up and hopefully got them back on board to our modifications that are in place. The co-teach teacher is wonderful. She loves him so much and this is her 2nd year with him. She is just physically pulled in so many directions- she is the integration teacher. She agreed that least restrictive is best and I think just me pointing out the gaps will help.

Today, is a new day and I feel refreshed. I do not disagree with planning for the future but I am also a big advocate of taking it as we go and not saying, well in 4th grade (he's 2nd grade now) he won't be able to do i.e. keep it organized an on task, the work and he'll have to have a personal aide. It's just a tough balance isn't it?? Trapeze walkers- that's what they should call special needs moms.

[lumom]

Mae
I have two boys with Asperger's syndrome in 8th grade and 5th grade. And whenever we have an IEP or conference I usually come away from it feeling a bit sad. Even though our team is so supportive and cooperative and really appreciate our boys strengths, it is hard to hear about their weaknesses in that environment. I guess I just don't always realize where/how they lag behind their typical peers and the reality of it makes me grieve a bit each time. Just thought maybe you could relate to this feeling I have.

Also, both my boys have had 1-on-1 aides. My oldest had one part time in 1st grade and then full time in 2nd and third and then shared one for fourth and in fifth grade let us know he did not want one anymore. The aides were very helpful to him without hovering and usually helped out in the classroom overall since mostly they offered additional support or redirected my son when needed. It really was better for him - he wasn't as stressed as he would have been because he did have a difficult time handling the responsibilities of the classroom - ie: getting supplies out, putting things away, taking home info or homework. But he has been independent for 3 years now and very motivated to keep up with the others. He just wasn't motivated like that in the early elementary school years.

My middle son has an aide for half the day this year and his team at school believe he will not always need one - although we usually just take it one year at a time (sometimes even one semester at a time).

I don't know your son or what his strengths and weaknesses are. But I thought maybe this would encourage you that it may only be for a couple of years and then he will be able to handle the responsibilities independently.

lu

[MaeinTX]

Lu- Thank you for your kind words. I don't remember seeing you here before but I wanted to add a belated welcome to Hearts.

Your first paragraph was dead on. You described it perfectly.

I'm going to keep in closer contact and see how it evolves. Thank you for sharing your successes. It gives me hope.